Even after rubbish like Shadow the Hedgehog and and utter trash of Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic Unleashed is possibly the most depressing yet. It’s not that it’s worse than Sonic 2006, thankfully, but what’s depressing is how it’s such a case of one step forward and two steps back. The Sonic stages are back to basics, brilliant fun, extremely pretty, and exactly what I want from a 3D Sonic game; put a few hours of these together and I’d happily pay the asking price, regardless of what brainless story had been hung on the bones to justify it. These represent Sonic Unleashed’s step forward.

However…

The were-hog was, let’s face it, a bad idea from the start. Tell me you didn’t hear about it and cringe immediately.

It’s a bizarre attempt to bring in some Devil May Cry-style combat, except it’s just crap. Mash the buttons to destroy some rejects from the ranks of Kingdom Hearts’ Heartless and Twilight Princess’s shadow creatures, occasionally getting into a QTE to kill off the bigger ones, and do this for room after room, unless the game decides that some block-pushing would be better. Yes, that’s block-pushing puzzles. In a Sonic game.

Bearing in mind that the Sonic stages are over in a few minutes and the were-hog ones can be ten minutes or more, they take up a significant proportion of the game – like more than the Sonic stages.

It’s just insane to me that nobody thought during testing, when they’d just finished breaking the sound barrier as the Blue Blur, that being stuck in the same room for five minutes as you dragged a block onto a switch, twiddled some knobs to raise and lower platforms, dragged another block onto them, moved them again, dragged the block to the other one – all so that you could get to a careful, slow walk across a balance beam, which couldn’t be more at odds with the Sonic ethos if it tried – wasn’t any fun whatsoever. Once again, I’m baffled as to what’s happened to the Sega of the Dreamcast days that could seemingly do no wrong.

Throw in boring and largely non-interactive Tornado sequences – you don’t even have control over the plane like you did in Sonic Adventure – and it becomes hard not to play the game without shaking your head. I’m beyond really being disappointed because I just don’t care any more. It’s for the best if we all just forget about Sonic and leave him back in his glory days.

Until the next time Sonic Team promises to take it back to basics…

I think I’m with most gamers when I say that my biggest question regarding this unusual collaboration is what exactly Mario is doping to enable him to match Sonic in a foot race. After having spent an afternoon with the game at the Wii Flat in London, I’m even more confused. Mario was pretty brisk if you held the run button, but when Bowser, Wario, and Eggman can keep up…well…it’s madness!

Once I was over my apoplectic fit and could put aside my inner fanboy, however, I couldn’t stay angry with it. I was too exhausted to…

So I got to visit the Wii flat, and spend a few hours with some other bloggers and the game. The flat is a weird place, hidden down an alley between a pub and a computer shop, where inside you’ll find a collection of LCD TVs, all with Wiis attached. I won’t divulge the exact location for fear of sending a horde of angry parents who can’t find Wiis for Christmas over there, but it’s like some kind of bizarre yet somewhat tastefully-decorated shrine, complete with Wii-themed art everywhere. It’s where I’d imagine some of the more nutty Nintendo fanboys living if they didn’t still live with their parents.

But we’re here to talk about the game, Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games. It’s a schizophrenic game, with different events ranging dramatically in quality and skill requirements and allowing clear favourites to emerge. Some are good enough to enjoy on your own against the computer, some (or most) won’t be enjoyable without drunken friends, and predictably there are some bad apples there that it’s doubtful that you’ll play more than once.

The running events are fairly perfunctory, consisting of little more than thrashing the controllers as fast as you can – incredibly tiring over 400m, I tell you – which can occasionally commit the cardinal sin of not seeming to reflect your actions in the game. At the other extreme you’ve got events like the pole vault and triple jump which require shifting between two or three waggling disciplines, with mixed success. As above, they range in quality and as with the likes of Athlete Kings or International Track and Field they’re really multiplayer games. Single player is just kind of there, on the off-chance you want to wave around like a loon without other people to see you.

Now this might seem contradictory when I’ve just complained about the muddled mixed-discipline events, but I had a much better time with the events that contained a bit more depth. There are split-screen (how quaint) “dream events”, set away from Beijing in the various gaming universes, which play out like Mario Kart races. It’s a nightmare trying to balance wild waggling with avoiding obstacles and firing shells, but it’s as uproarous and unpredictable in multiplayer as its inspiration. I was shit at the trampolining – which has you moving the remote up and down while inputting on-screen button combinations – since I clearly don’t know my Wii buttons well enough, but it was one of the more inventive and successful games.

My favourite, though, was the fencing. It takes in attacks, parries, and feints, which all work well and create a game that actually has some depth. Play against someone of equal skill and matches are close, back-and-forth affairs that more often than not come down to the final point (first to 15), with a clever player always having a chance to get back into it. I could have spent even longer on this mode.

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games, like most compilations, seems to range dramatically in quality, but overall it’s one of the best compilations on the Wii and should be fun with friends. You’ll probably want to avoid it if you’re out for a deep single player experience, though.

If you want to see more of the event take a look at the following blogs who were also there:

• The Average Gamer
• Binary Joy
• British Gaming Blog
• Nintendic
• Zath

More photos are available here, and you can see an official video (featuring me :/) here.

So Solid Snake isn’t the only non-Nintendo character to make it into Smash Bros Brawl, as Nintendo has announced that Sonic will be pitting himself in mortal combat against Mario for the first time. Now we know how Sega got permission to put Mario into its Olympic game, then.

I was very indifferent towards Smash Bros Melee, probably because it came out at the same time as I was getting into Street Fighter III: Third Strike’s home debut on Dreamcast and, let’s face it, in a battle of fighting mechanics only one of those is going to come out on top. It was an enjoyable little fanwank but I find myself constantly baffled by lists putting it up there as one of the best games of all time. It’s not. Seriously, it’s not. It’s not even close to being the best game on GameCube, and that’s saying something.

As such, my anticipation for Brawl was almost nil. I still need to buy Metroid Prime 3, and that gets the nod over Smash Bros for having a proper single player experience in there. But this has changed things entirely. The original Smash Bros may have been wish fulfilment for a lot of people who grew up with Nintendo, but in making a fighting game with Mario and Sonic, Nintendo have gone and created my most wanted game from about 1993. Seriously, if I’d told 8-year-old self about this game my little head would have exploded.

So what are the odds on Snake slitting Sonic’s throat for that awful next-gen abortion? Don’t go all family friendly on us, Nintendo.