Little Britain: The Video Game

Little Britain: The Video Game

The bad guys in films are always the most fun, and it’s unfortunate that the same can’t be said for bad games. When bad games do get fun, however, is when you get to write about how bad they are.

In a fit of whimsy, partially inspired by the Eurogamer review, I downloaded this game. It’s not often that I’ll do this, but this game deserves it. It shouldn’t be purchased – EVER – and yet it’s a complete trainwreck of a game that should be seen by anyone involved in games. For them, it’s the paradigm of how a game shouldn’t be, and for anyone involved in this game it’s incriminating evidence that someone needs to hold as evidence for their future trials for crimes against gaming. And I only played it to prove these facts, obviously. If pressed I’ll claim that I was drunk.

Now I’m not a fan of Little Britain. I get called all the usual names when I tell people this, but I guarantee that when you go back to it in a few years, you’ll come to the realisation that it’s the same joke every single time. Lou turns his back, Andy runs around a bit, says “I want that one” and/or “I don’t like it” (a good summation of this game), cue canned laughter. How utterly hilarious!

Catchphrase comedy is shit, basically. And this game plays those catchphrases over…and over…and over…and over…again. Hardly the most endearing experience.

Even without my prejudices, though, this is a travesty. It’s actually pushing the limits of what I can justify as “amusingly bad”; one of those games that you stick on just to have a laugh at how bad it is. Everyone who’s ever fired up an Atari 2600 emulator (or owned the game, God forbid) has made a beeline for E.T., only to find out that it’s not the so-bad-it’s-good riot you expected: it’s just rubbish. This is the same kind of thing.

Daffyd and Vicky’s games play pretty much identically, in that you’re herded along a path and tasked with collecting some items and avoiding others as appropriate, lest the game play another voice sample at you. Oh, and Daffyd’s requires you to run down any homosexual stereotypes that you might see. They’re also identical in how the game takes its time to decide whether or not it’s planning on responding to button presses.

If Daffyd is in an abomination of Paperboy (replace newspapers with Gay Times, you see?), that Fat Fighters woman runs around like Pac-Man, only collecting cakes (dots) and avoiding the judgemental gazes of other Fat Fighters (ghosts). With interminal voice clips, of course.

The last one that I can be bothered to write about before I slash my wrists is Lou and Andy, in which you replicate that diving board sketch – still utterly depressing that that was voted the best comedy sketch ever – by bashing buttons to perform as many stunts as possible before Lou notices that Andy is a lying bastard. Almost as overrated as the real thing, which is going some considering that its average score on Game Rankings is 15%.

My conclusion? If you’re tempted to try this game because you think it might be a bit of a laugh, don’t. It’s not even worth the bandwidth to pirate it.

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