Tag Archives: Kevin Smith

Ten Things I Learnt from Kevin Smith

Ever since I saw An Evening With Kevin Smith it’s been my mission to see one of his legendary Q&As, but his trips to the UK don’t happen too often. On every previous occasion I didn’t find out in time, so this one must have been kismet as I fired up my RSS reader for the first time in ages, just in time to be informed that it was happening.

So that was where I was last night, and I ended up learning some interesting stuff from the great raconteur.

  1. If Kevin Smith had to pick a man to have sex with, it’d be his friend Bryan Johnson.
  2. Kevin Smith’s next comedy, which he has just about finished writing but won’t be made until after his planned horror movie (inspired by Race with the Devil), will apparently have the most self-explanatory title ever, on the same level as Snakes on a Plane. Unsurprisingly, he wouldn’t tell us the title.
  3. Kevin Smith is currently a fan of (NSFW!) SexyLabia.com. I dread to think how much comment spam posting that link will bring in.
  4. Kevin recently bought a miniature dachshund because he and his daughter thought they were funny. Despite the age difference (eight years next to less than a year, or 56 and 6 using that seven-dog-years-to-one-human-year thing), his labrador Mulder may have gotten the weiner dog pregnant.
  5. Jeremy London is the only actor that Kevin regrets casting. Despite the fact that Jason Lee was far better, Jeremy gave him notes on how to improve his performance.
  6. Kevin finds the idea of black pudding abhorrent. As do I, to be fair. He also finds British cuisine’s obsession with pigs weird.
  7. Harvey Weinstein wanted them to show Clerks 2’s pussy troll on screen. Kevin and Scott Mosier didn’t want to, so set out to make it unusable by either making the depiction far too offensive (getting John Kricfalusi to animate something obscene that wouldn’t make it past the MPAA) or too lame (Jason Mewes dressed up as a troll doll inside a giant wooden pussy). Despite Mewes’ enthusiasm – he’d get to keep the wooden pussy, you see – the idea thankfully passed.
  8. Kevin ended up rewriting his whole scene in Die Hard 4.0, giving himself a huge speech. The studio was unsure about it because it turned a humourous scene into one with a ton of exposition, but Bruce Willis had Kevin’s back (“let me ask you this: who’s your second choice to play John McClane?”).
  9. Kevin Smith can use the word ‘tchotchke’ in a sentence. I still struggle to pronounce it.
  10. Lucas and Steven Spielberg are huge nerds: they like to compare websites and look at pictures of women in lingerie together. And Lucas liked the Death Star contractors idea in Clerks.

My photos are up on Flickr here.

And, one thing I learnt in London itself: some people shouldn’t be allowed to drive. This is aimed at the cunt that almost took us all out on the zebra crossing in Richmond.

I’m Seeing Kevin Smith!

Kevin Smith is going to be appearing next month for one of his legendary Q&A sessions at the Prince Charles Cinema (complete with Tarantino-themed bar, which defies awesomeness) in London, and I’ve got tickets! Hooray!

I’ve missed out on the chance to see him speak a handful of times now but have an unhealthy enthusiasm for his ‘Evening With…’ DVDs, and although this one won’t be recorded it’s all worth it to hear some more material. Especially if said material ends up being a tirade against Jonathan Ross, ? la his bash of the 3AM Girls on the last DVD. I’d like to have a bit of a rant about Ross in front of an audience myself, but that’s another story.

Suffice to say I’ll post a report (hopefully some photos as well) on the day after. I can’t wait!

I’ve Seen Clerks II…

…and it’s not even got a release date here yet. Shh!

I’m not usually down with this piracy lark but when a film that I really want to see doesn’t even have a UK release date (as of 28/7) I’ll be damned if a little thing like copyright law is going to stop me. This is a film I want to support so I’ll see it when it eventually comes out and buy the DVD, but honestly…don’t DVD players that play XviD files from discs just encourage this behaviour? I’ll bet there are less disciplined people who’ll download it and then not pay for it when someone eventually decides that we’re allowed see it.

Flimsy moral justifications aside, I really liked it. It could well end up being my favourite Kevin Smith movie and although I thought a sequel to Clerks smacked of a post-Jersey Girl panic and rush back to familiar ground, but it works. It’s got the expected humour (oral sex stories, for example) and actually goes further than previous ones, but it’s actually more mature and has a real ending. No shooting the lead character because he doesn’t know how to end a movie here.

In places it’s funny as fuck – the Silence of the Lambs spoof is a howler, as is Jay and Silent Bob’s feeble rationale for turning their lives around, and Elias’ endearing mixture of Jesus freak and Transformers/LOTR nerd is a predictably good basis for Randal’s bullying.

Overall I give it a “better than Jersey Girl”/10. I hope Kevin Smith sticks to the geekery and ribald humour because it’s what he does best.

The Jason Mewes Story

I talked about Kevin Smith’s blog some time ago (here to be exact) but there’s something on there that begs to be read, especially if you’re a Jay and Silent Bob fan. Jason Mewes had a well-publicised battle with drug addiction that pretty much started with weed around the time that Clerks was made and ballooned into crack, heroin, Oxycontin, and whatever he could lay his hands on that almost killed him or landed him in jail several times.

With the third anniversary of his sobriety around this time, Kevin has been blogging the full history of their relationship (start with part one, here) and all the crap that Mewes put him through. Reading it, I honestly don’t know if I could give someone that many chances and pour that much money into helping them. The moment they stole from a dealer and ran into the house where my family lived they’d have been out the door.

It’s spread over nine very long parts, but definitely worth the time to read and thankfully it all works out in the end, complete with quite a tear-jerking video on the last entry. Without Mewes we wouldn’t have the great-looking Clerks 2 to look forward to, which is clearly going to be the monster hit of the summer. That or Snakes on a Plane

Kevin Smith

For anyone who’s interested in him and his work, Kevin Smith now has a blog. It’s not so much his musings; it’s more of a journal that intentionally goes into meticulous detail about everything that happens in every day of his life, achieving an interesting dichotomy of being prosaic enough to live up to the title but also making me wonder how anyone who goes on CNN, meets Zach Braff, and appears on The Tonight Show within the space of four days can consider their life boring.

He also uses WordPress. All the good ones do.